In April of 2017 I sat on a beach on an island in Mexico and bottomed out on 20 years of compulsive dieting.
Exactly a year earlier I’d shot an infomercial for a fitness machine giant. They’d put us on an extremely restricted diet for 10 weeks and rigorously trained us. I’m not gonna lie, I fucking loved it. I got free food and personal training, and in the end I was almost at my goal weight. (Looking back, I’m horrified that I still thought I had more to lose, but that’s trickery of diet culture.)
A year later, I’d gained back all the weight, and more (because #dietscience), and as I sat on the beach in Mexico comparing myself to every body I saw, I spiraled into the darkest place I’ve ever been, very quickly.
My first thought was, “I’m going on another diet when I get home. Gotta get back on track. No carbs, no alcohol, paleo only! This time for real!”