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The Divorce Survival Guide

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As seen and heard on:

YKAL with Andrea Owen

YKAL with Andrea Owen

YKAL with Andrea Owen

YKAL with Andrea Owen

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YKAL with Andrea Owen

YKAL with Andrea Owen

YKAL with Andrea Owen

Create your Magical Life with Alana Sheerin

Kate Anthony

5063 Glen Iris Avenue,

Los Angeles, CA 90041,

USA

Hours

Here’s what I’ve been up to on Instagram lately:

THIS is what I teach in my class Should I Stay or Should I Go.

Ever wonder how tf you ended up in this relationship in the first place? I got you.

Link for early bird list in bio.

#Repost @silvykhoucasian with @get_repost
・・・
We are drawn to what feels familiar.
That is not news to most of us.
We get pulled into familiar and sometimes (unhealthy) situations because there is some kind of repair that was never made.
We recreate the same kind of environment that was not dealt with and integrated properly within us.
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Let’s say we were abandoned as a child by a parent.
We will likely be drawn to emotionally unavailable partners that will eventually leave.
Or our fear of them leaving will cause us to say and do things that push them away.
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Let’s say we were the emotional caretaker to one or both parents as a child.
We will likely be drawn to people that really need our help with emotional regulation, but in an unbalanced or unhealthy way.
Or our fear of being needed will cause us to keep our partners at an arms distance so that we don’t have to feel the painful memories of the past come up.
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Where we get our freedom back has (two) parts to it.
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First, we have to give ourselves permission to fully feel the sadness and grief we weren’t able to the first time around.
We have to process and emotionally “escape” what we weren’t able to the first time around.
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Second, we have to (logically) recognize when we need to choose people that feel less familiar from our past.
We have to choose people that have a history of sticking around for their important relationships .. or are willing to dig deep into healing those parts of themselves that abandon love and intimacy.
We have to choose people that rely on us in healthy doses.
We have to choose people that are willing to get their hands dirty and (lovingly) call us out when our fear is starting to sabotage the connection.
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Choosing people that may feel more neutral in the beginning can still develop into a deep bond - but that bond can often take longer to spark.
We can’t help who we attract.
But we can choose who we will stick around for.
And thats where our true power lies.
#coachingwithsilvy

This is not an excuse for not stepping up and being in partnership with another human.

Telling someone that you haven’t changed, and that you’re just the same person you were 10, 20 years ago doesn’t cut it.

Our job in relationships is to grow and change with our partners. Humans evolve; so too should our relationships!

If your partner comes to you with a request for a change in behavior, or tells you that something you’re doing no longer works for them, or, worse, hurts them, your job is to LISTEN and learn how to be the best partner for the person you claim to love.

And yes, that might mean that you have to change. But that’s GOOD NEWS. Growth is a necessary part of being human. Accept every challenge to do so that’s thrown your way!

#divorce / #singlemom / #breakup / #lifecoach / #codependency / #recovery / #selfhelp / #forgiveness / #selfcare / #stayorgo / #shouldistayorshouldigo / #courage / #hope / #divorcesupport / #healing / #movingon / #growth / #emotionalabuse / #survivingnarcissism / #boundaries / #divorcedmom

PSA: PLEASE DO NOT KON-MARI YOUR ENTIRE LIFE WITHOUT READING THIS.

I understand this craze is re-sweeping the nation now that Marie Kondo has a Netflix show.

Please be mindful.

First of all, if you read the book you’ll remember that she wants you to roll your socks like sushi and thank them for their service because they’re tired.

She also wants you to wipe down and put away all your shampoo and soaps after every shower.

She also wants you to unpack your purse and put everything “away” every time you come home.

So if you’re taking de-cluttering advice from her, consider the source.

More than that, consider your current emotional state. Many of us enter into mass purging when we’re going through a breakup, a divorce, or other massive life upheaval.

There’s a desire to clean the slate, and that makes sense.

This is NOT the time to ask if things bring you joy as most things will not.

I made the mistake of doing this after a breakup. I got rid of almost everything I owned. The minimalism felt great, but over the next few years I began to regret getting rid of so many things: clothes, shoes, books.

So, while the entire thing may be inspiring, please tread carefully.

There is a time for everything, and this may not be it.

#konmarimethod #declutteryourlife #divorcedmom #sparkjoy

If someone apologizes over and over again but DOES NOT CHANGE THEIR BEHAVIOR they’re not sorry, and it’s not enough.

They’re doing the bare minimum in order to keep getting away with hurting you.

And you’re letting them.

Don’t believe the hype.

#divorce / #singlemom / #breakup / #lifecoach / #codependency / #recovery / #selfhelp / #forgiveness / #selfcare / #stayorgo / #shouldistayorshouldigo / #courage / #hope / #divorcesupport / #healing / #movingon / #growth / #emotionalabuse / #survivingnarcissism / #boundaries / #divorcedmom

THIS. IS. HUGE. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 #Repost @mattmcgorry with @get_repost
・・・
Thank you for sending me this @dahliaseed 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
#
Repost from @theconsciouskid
#
Repost from @theconsciouskid using @RepostRegramApp - "For the first time in its 127-year history, the American Psychological Association has issued guidelines to help psychologists specifically address the issues of men and boys — and the document features a warning.
“Traditional masculinity ideology has been shown to limit males’ psychological development, constrain their behavior, result in gender role strain and gender role conflict and negatively influence mental health and physical health,” the report warns.

The new “Guidelines for Psychological Practice with Boys and Men” defines “masculinity ideology” as “a particular constellation of standards that have held sway over large segments of the population, including: anti-femininity, violence, adventure, risk, achievement, and eschewal of the appearance of weakness.” The report links this ideology to homophobia, bullying, sexual harassment, and a series of stark statistics: Men commit approximately 90 percent of all homicides in the U.S., they are far more likely than women to be arrested and charged with intimate partner violence in the U.S., and they are four times more likely than women to die of suicide worldwide.

The guidelines for psychologists outlined in the report include encouraging them to "recognize that masculinities are constructed based on social, cultural, and contextual norms"; "understand the impact of power, privilege, and sexism on the development of boys and men and on their relationships with others"; and "reduce the high rates of problems boys and men face and act out in their lives such as aggression, violence, substance abuse, and suicide." APA psychologist Jared Skillings said parents can play a part, too. He recommended they let their boys know, “It’s OK to not be OK all the time.”'
--Tim Fitzsimons, @nbcnews

#toxicmasculinity #masculinity #men #boys #psychology #sexism #metoo #timesup #consciousparenting #raisingboys #feminist #maleprivilege #gender #genderroles

There are certain things that really fucking suck about being #divorced.

One of them is taking down the tree, which is why I’m finally getting to it today.

I’m not one to lie about this experience. There’s good, there’s bad, there’s really fucking ugly.

I tell more truths in my women’s Facebook group. Link in bio to join.

#divorce / #singlemom / #breakup / #lifecoach / #codependency / #recovery / #selfhelp / #forgiveness / #selfcare / #stayorgo / #shouldistayorshouldigo / #courage / #hope / #divorcesupport / #healing / #movingon / #growth / #emotionalabuse / #survivingnarcissism / #boundaries / #divorcedmom

This is so beautiful and the basis of my work with women.

The only way we can heal and grow is through our own self-work.

Do the hard work (with me!!), and so much will follow. Either your relationship will begin to heal, or you’ll find the strength and power and confidence to leave.

Either way, the work is yours to do.

#divorce / #singlemom / #breakup / #lifecoach / #codependency / #recovery / #selfhelp / #forgiveness / #selfcare / #stayorgo / #shouldistayorshouldigo / #courage / #hope / #divorcesupport / #healing / #movingon / #growth / #emotionalabuse / #survivingnarcissism / #boundaries / #divorcedmom

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