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The Divorce Survival Guide

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As seen and heard on:

YKAL with Andrea Owen

YKAL with Andrea Owen

YKAL with Andrea Owen

YKAL with Andrea Owen

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YKAL with Andrea Owen

YKAL with Andrea Owen

YKAL with Andrea Owen

Create your Magical Life with Alana Sheerin

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Kate Anthony

5063 Glen Iris Avenue,

Los Angeles, CA 90041,

USA

Hours

Here’s what I’ve been up to on Instagram lately:

Laura Wasser, family law expert, creator of it’s over easy and host of Divorce Sucks, joined me on the podcast, recently. ⠀
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We discussed the varying aspects of divorce; including the outrageous price tag it can have (and why that may be) and the legal aspects of it all. ⠀
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Plus, we had a fascinating conversation about amicable divorces and figuring out a better way of communicating, pre-and post-divorce. ⠀
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Oh, and what about premarital counseling? Is it worth it? We discussed that too! ⠀
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We also talked about the importance of being financially aware of what is going on in your marriage. Whether you are a stay-at-home-mom or the primary income earner, marriage is a partnership and you must know what is going on with your finances. ⠀
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Grab the podcast link in my bio!⠀
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#divorce / #singlemom / #breakup / #lifecoach / #codependency / #recovery / #selfhelp / #forgiveness / #selfcare / #stayorgo / #shouldistayorshouldigo / #courage / #hope / #divorcesupport / #healing / #movingon / #growth / #emotionalabuse / #survivingnarcissism / #boundaries / #divorcedmom /#divorcerecovery / #couplestherapy / #codependentnomore / #lifeafterdivorce / #relationshipproblems / #toxicrelationships / #innercritic / #attachmentstyles / #gottman⠀

My advice to clients is always to keep your own side of the street squeaky clean. Someone recently asked what I mean when I say this.⠀
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I mean that no matter what he does, you act with integrity within yourself.⠀
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I mean that no matter how much someone is working hard to push your buttons, you work harder to keep your cool — and when you lose it (and you will), you clean it up—even if it means saying “sorry” to someone you hate.⠀
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I mean that you act in such a way that when your kids grow up they’ll look back and see the truth, regardless of what your husband or ex is telling you (or them) now.⠀
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I mean that you act in line with your personal values in such a way that when you lay your head on your pillow at night, you don’t regret your words or your actions. And if you do (and you might), you work to make it better the next day.⠀
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The more you can do this, the more your kids will understand and appreciate it as they grow up. So, no matter how messy the other side of the street is, if your kids always have a safe and soft place to land with you, you’ve done all you can do—and that will have a lasting impact on the rest of their lives.⠀

Deciding to leave your marriage was likely one of the hardest decisions you've ever made.⠀
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Whether you worked with me to come to this decision or not, I know that you've turned yourself inside out and excavated every crevice of your psyche to be sure this is the right decision.⠀
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NOW WHAT??⠀
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In The Ultimate Divorce Survival Guide you'll find everything you need to know in order to protect your children from any potential fallout from this process: how to tell them you’re getting divorced, how to ensure consistent co-parenting across homes, how to transition them to a new house, how to begin to rebuild your own life after divorce, and so much more.⠀
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This is truly the ULTIMATE Divorce Survival Guide!⠀
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If you work through this guide with your soon-to-be ex and you can agree to most of what’s in it, your legal proceedings will a lot smoother—and a lot cheaper—which will alleviate a lot of the stress and emotional fallout for everyone involved. ⠀
Even if you don’t, knowing how to put your children at the center, and not in the middle, of your divorce will help you set the tone for the most amicable process possible.⠀
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$27⠀
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PURCHASE LINK (and more product details) IN BIO UNDER "GET THE GUIDE"⠀
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#divorce / #singlemom / #breakup / #lifecoach / #codependency / #recovery / #selfhelp / #forgiveness / #selfcare / #stayorgo / #shouldistayorshouldigo / #courage / #hope / #divorcesupport / #healing / #movingon / #growth / #emotionalabuse / #survivingnarcissism / #boundaries / #divorcedmom /#divorcerecovery / #couplestherapy / #codependentnomore

When I started this journey, I didn’t know what I was doing, how long I’d stop drinking for, or anything like that.

I had no plan.

I just knew I felt like shit and had to make some changes.

I was so tired of jilting awake at 3am, tossing and turning in a spiral of shame, and spending my days trying to recover.

I knew I drank just like a lot of people (people I know and am super close with), but I also knew I drank differently than some others (with whom i am also friends) who seemed to have no problem having just one, taking it or leaving it, and certainly felt no shame around it.

I knew I didn’t relate to the stories I heard in the rooms of AA (and I say this as someone whose life and family was saved by AA, and who spent a good 10 years working a hard-core Al-Anon program), but I also knew I needed help. Not so much help, as community, and stories I could relate to. Someone to tell me how to quit drinking without going to AA.

I started following @holly and @sillylara
I called @yourkickasslife (who is my go-to when I’m bottoming out on deep and crazy shit—sorry! I love you!) And then I found @thisnakedmind and I finally had my answer.

Everyone’s path to sobriety is different.

I now can’t believe I ever drank like i did. I don’t miss it at all. I don’t think about it at all. I don’t believe my next drink is doing push-ups in the parking lot. I believe I am more powerful than alcohol, and I don’t believe I have a disease. This thinking may help some people, but it doesn’t help me (everyone is different!). Today marks six months. I’m proud and I’m happy, but mostly I’m just getting on with life these days.

#soberlife #soberliving #thisnakedmind #afaf #alcoholfree #lifecoachforwomen #divorcecoach

You are allowed to change. You are allowed to change the rules of the game, no matter how long you’ve been playing it.⠀
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You are allowed to grow. You are allowed to ask your partner to help you change the game you’re playing if it no longer works for you. Part of the human condition is growth and change, and just as you’d want that for your kids, you get to have it for yourself.⠀
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The real question is whether or not you have a partner who’s open enough to allow, support, and join you in that growth and not feel threatened by it.⠀
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Because this is your one wild and precious life. You get one chance at this. And my guess is that if anyone else in your life that you deeply care about told you how miserable they were, you’d beg them to make a change. You’d look them squarely in the face and tell them that they deserve to be happy.⠀
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And so do you.⠀
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#divorce / #singlemom / #breakup / #lifecoach / #codependency / #recovery / #selfhelp / #forgiveness / #selfcare / #stayorgo / #shouldistayorshouldigo / #courage / #hope / #divorcesupport / #healing / #movingon / #growth / #emotionalabuse / #survivingnarcissism / #boundaries / #divorcedmom /#divorcerecovery / #couplestherapy / #codependentnomore / #lifeafterdivorce / #relationshipproblems / #toxicrelationships / #innercritic / #attachmentstyles / #gottman

#Repost @selfcarewarrior with @get_repost
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As Dr. Martha Stout notes, one of the clear signs you’re dealing with a sociopathic individual is that they mistreat you time and time again - only to try to make you feel sorry for them. The pity ploy is one of the most common signs of conscienceless behavior. ————————————
#narcissisticabuse #abuse #emotionalabuse #pityploy #withoutconscience #thesociopathnextdoor #verbalabuse #domesticviolence #coercivecontrol #domesticviolenceawareness #ptsd #complextrauma #traumabond #traumabonds #traumabonding #shahidaarabi #psychologicalabuse #manipulation #toxicpeople #toxicrelationships #narcissisticrage #crocodiletears #fakeremorse

People often ask me how I knew when it was time to leave, and the truth is that I was hit with clarity really hard. In a single moment I knew that my husband and I brought out the worst in each other, and that individually we probably weren’t the people we became together.⠀
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I knew that staying in our marriage was keeping us from finding people we really loved, with whom we could create meaningful, trusting bonds, and that if we could find that (outside of each other) our son would have a chance at finding that for himself down the line.⠀
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And I knew that if we stayed together, he stood absolutely zero chance of that.⠀
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I’d always thought that if I was just a better communicator, if I was just smarter, skinnier, taller, prettier, funnier, took more responsibility, lowered my voice, raised my boobs, shrunk my hips, did more crafts, cooked better, had more interesting hobbies, then I’d be “enough.”⠀
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Turns out, I’d been enough all along, and the one person who didn’t know it was me. ⠀
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If you're a mom struggling to decide, I have a new quiz that will give you important information and customized results you need to determine if you should stay or go. ⠀
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Find the link in my bio. ⠀

I've been thinking a lot about reframing masculinity lately, mostly for myself (because my version of it really hasn't been helpful), but maybe for more of us as well (if my messy process inspires at all). I've historically been attracted to alpha males. Strong, dominant men, who fed my primal need to be "protected" in the world.

But of course that primal need is in complete opposition to our current culture. I don't need a man to protect me from lions and tigers and bears (oh my), and I never have.

And yet, these are the men I've chosen over and over again, much to my heartbreak and disappointment.

What I really NEED/want is a man to protect my tender heart, to choose me, to show up with vulnerability and openness; to share his heart with mine, to be willing to go first, to not play games, and to play full out on the relationship court with me.

And, generally speaking, men who meet the typical alpha male stereotype have had to do very little work to open themselves up to meet women on the tender clay of complex adult relationships. *Generally speaking*, because our culture caters to their privilege in powerful ways, the typical alpha male has gotten to be lazy about creating depth and vulnerability, just by the sheer nature of what he looks like and how that archetype has been viewed by our culture.

The whole "nice guys finish last" trope has largely been true for me. Nice has equalled "boring," not a "challenge," not "masculine.” But what kind of bullshit is that?

Is vulnerability boring?

Is depth of connection boring?

Is a man who understands and knows himself and his heart, lays it on the table, and says, "here I am" really not masculine?

Is it not the greatest challenge on earth to meet a man where his heart is laid bare?

I'm leaning in to this now, with no idea where it may take me, but I have a feeling if more of us did the same a few important things might change.

"...I understand that you needed these protections when you were small. I understand that you believed your armor could help you secure all of the things you needed to feel worthy and lovable, but you’re still searching and you’re more lost than ever. Time is growing short. There are unexplored adventures ahead of you. You can’t live the rest of your life worried about what other people think. You were born worthy of love and belonging. Courage and daring are coursing through your veins. You were made to live and love with your whole heart. It’s time to show up and be seen." -Brené Brown⠀
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#divorce / #singlemom / #breakup / #lifecoach / #codependency / #recovery / #selfhelp / #forgiveness / #selfcare / #stayorgo / #shouldistayorshouldigo / #courage / #hope / #divorcesupport / #healing / #movingon / #growth / #emotionalabuse / #survivingnarcissism / #boundaries / #divorcedmom /#divorcerecovery / #couplestherapy / #codependentnomore / #lifeafterdivorce / #relationshipproblems / #toxicrelationships / #innercritic / #attachmentstyles / #gottman

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